I used to be cool and do things. Now all I do is argue with a miniature version of myself about eating his vegetables.
E.K. has learned that if he screams loud enough and even falls out on the floor with a arch in his back that his dad will give in to him most of the time. Not his mama! I’m beginning to master the walk the phuck off and act like I have no idea who’s child you are and what psychiatric ward you came from move. This has kept my sanity in many cases [read: SOME cases]. Of course, I can’t just walk away from my child when out in public… as he’s only 1.5 years old. But best believe I will leave this little monster of mine (that I love dearly) in a heartbeat laying on the floor during one of his ultimate meltdowns while I finish washing the dishes.
The tantrum phase is one that mostly all toddlers go through. They are testing boundaries and what we as their parents allow during these fiery moments teaches them what they can get away with in general if they act the ultimate fool.
I made the mistake a while back of letting E.K. watch sesame street on the iPad. He now feels he can have the iPad at any time to watch Elmo and other toddler appropriate videos. I’m trying to limit his exposure to television and iPad usage in general to encourage more reading and playing.
I took his iPad away the other day to take him downstairs and let him run around while I started dinner. E.K. decided he didn’t want that and started screaming at the top of his lungs. He laid out face-down on the floor and actually started kicking the floor. In this moment, I learned the gift of pause. It’s when you take a brief moment of mental silence, then count to 10 and decompress before reacting to something. I didn’t acknowledge the tantrum; I just walked away quietly and started singing the ABC song. After 5 minutes of this loud tantrum…extremely loud… did I mention loud? E.K. got up and walked over to me lifting his arms and said “Up”!
I picked him up and he gave me the biggest kiss and hug ever! Although I’m not sure he understood every word, I explained that tantrums are not acceptable and that he will need to start using his words to express himself. The toddler phase won’t last long although it feels like it will since we are going through it now. I’m trying to embrace it all because 5 years from now I’m going to miss all these wild moments that give me more than enough content to blog a life time about.
I encourage all you parents of toddlers to adopt the gift of pause (if you haven’t already). Also, keep a great wine stash on hand for those moments that the gift of pause doesn’t do sh*t for you!
Thank me later!
It has been a interesting day. I sold a handbag of mine on Poshmark and went to the USPS to drop it off and get a receipt this morning. While in line, there was a young woman in front of me who was there with her two (2) sons. Her sons appeared to be approx. 4 years old and the other maybe 7 years old. As we patiently waited for our turn in line, her youngest son started playing with the velvet rope that helps people know where to line up to be called for their turn at the counter. Mind you, there were only about 5 of us in the post office. The young child wasn’t bothering anyone, but he was super fascinated with unhooking and hooking the rope back up. His mother asked him numerous times to stop, but as most young children… he kept going.
I guess the USPS clerk was bothered. The clerk raised her voice (read: Yelled) from the counter with another customer in front of her… “Hey, do NOT play with that!” It caught me off guard and I think the mom of these boys were taken back as well. I mean… how DARE YOU yell at someone else’s child and the parent is standing right there??? The mother instructed her boys to go wait for her in the ‘lobby’ where the PO boxes are located. I was too outdone and downright bothered.
The customer that was at the clerk’s counter left, so the young woman in front of me walked up to the counter as she was next in line. The rude, obnoxious, and clearly bothered clerk held her hand up and said sternly “I didn’t call you yet. I’m not ready for you so you can go stand back in line!” and proceeded to walk into the back. Again, I was too outdone with the behavior. I looked at the young woman as she walked back and I said “She’s phucking rude! If she hates her job that much, maybe she should find another”. The young woman shook her head in agreement with me and explained to me how she was just trying to hurry up and get out of there because she knew her boys were hungry and getting tired.
The clerk returns and tells the young woman “Ok, now you can come on”. At that moment I started snap chatting because this was absolutely crazy. When I was done with dropping off my package, I walked by the young woman and her boys and I told her that I was so sorry she had to experience that. I also made it a point to tell her that I didn’t think she should allow ANYONE to yell at her children in front of her like that especially since they weren’t harming anyone.
This entire situation bothered me. I’m a mom. Granted, the boys were not on their best behavior but that is the parent(s) responsibility to check it as she was standing right there next to her boys. All I could think about was if she had yelled at my child. It pissed me off thinking about it. Had I been that young woman, I would have requested the supervisor and filed a formal complaint on this clerk’s lack of professionalism in general. In all honesty, I also would have likely cursed that clerk from here to hell about yelling at my child versus addressing me directly as his mother. I come from a long line of hot tempered and strong women…. try me not as it relates to my cub.
Is it ever okay for a stranger to yell at someone’s child? What are your thoughts?
Unless you are family or friend, you had better not EVER yell at my child (especially with me standing right there). Adults should address adults unless the child is in immanent danger and the parent cannot help.
Until next time…